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Do You Know the Secrets to Making New Friends at a Boarding School?

Fayette Phillips
NMH Student

Boarding school means living with your friends. When contemplating coming to boarding school, it’s natural to be nervous about making friends. Here’s some advice for any student feeling a little anxious:

When I was considering boarding school I thought establishing friendships would take some real time. As a new sophomore, I figured that cliques had already been formed and I’d have to work hard to fit in. I knew, though, that at boarding school I would be spending day and night with these new people, so developing friendships was inevitable.

Living with hundreds of people your own age makes it almost impossible NOT to make friends. Because you spend so much time together, friendships develop much more quickly than you may be used to, and the awkward stage in which you know no one is extremely short-lived.

Orientation will be the first time you spend some serious time with your classmates. When I came to my school for orientation, our class went camping for two nights. Relationships were often first established when someone would lean over to the person next to them and poke fun at the dorky name games or ice-breakers we were playing. The team-building activities forced us to work and problem-solve together. We could laugh at ourselves together while we were stuck in the middle of our task, and feel proud of ourselves when our task was finally accomplished. Our busy days made for easy conversation at night in the cabin with fellow bunk mates.

To establish friendships even faster, I would recommend joining a team or a club or two. This way, you get to know new people who have similar interests, and are therefore more likely to become friends.

As far as adults go, house directors in each dorm get to know students and make sure that they take advantage of social opportunities that lead to building relationships. Coaches also work hard on team-building, and teachers help facilitate discussion among their students.

Outside the dorms and on weekends, groups of friends go out to a restaurant or to a movie or just walk around in town. Organized weekend trips are popular, too. On campus, students hang out in the student center, the snack bar, and on the quad. School dances and fundraising events are other weekend activities that bring people together.

The dorms are very communal and really begin to feel like home. Many students leave their doors open while they are just relaxing in their room as a way to welcome visitors who are passing by. Conversations while washing hands or brushing teeth can also begin great friendships. In the dorm lounges and common spaces, students will often congregate to watch a favorite television show or make a late-night snack. Dorm vs. dorm competitions create dorm pride and spirit, and really give a sense of belonging.

Put yourself out there—it’s worth it. These are the people who become your family away from home.

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Northfield Mount Hermon School One Lamplighter Way Mount Hermon, MA 01354    phone: 413-498-3000    e-mail: info@nmhschool.org