NMH Magazine : Spring 2003

The 60s

Resiliency. To happily reach 60 and beyond, we need to have mastered it. Sixty years of life are bound to bring crises, failures, joys, and heartaches, so if we've gotten this far, some part of us is made of rubber. Well-adjusted 60somethings are good at handling life's vagaries without blaming, bitterness, or passivity. They're able to control their impulses in an emotional situation. They may feel surprisingly calm in the face of the world's ups and downs, and able to appreciate life's contradictions. Above all, they understand the complexity of human beings and doings. Mortality looms ever closer; for 60somethings, their contemporaries are beginning to die with alarming regularity. These losses bring a sense of time passing faster and faster. In the words of humorist Don Marquis, "Fifteen minutes after fifty you are sixty, and then in ten minutes more you are eighty-five." Many 60somethings try to hang onto as much control as possible. Their capacity for risk and change decreases, and their wish to keep everything exactly the same increases. For better or for worse, they lose the possibility of surprise. Others rediscover or nurture their sense of playfulness and curiosity. Those who feel most alive in their 60s have found their passion and are pursuing it wholeheartedly. Retirement can be a difficult passage for some. The younger the retiree, the more difficult the transition. And the higher one's career status has been, the harder it is to adjust to the anonymity of retirement. Grandparenthood can also be a rough transition. Suddenly you're at the front of a long generational line–and you've acquired the name "Gramps." Yet it brings a sense of completing the family circle as well as a chance to spend quality time with grandchildren that may have been lacking with your own children. Sixtysomethings often seek reconciliation with others and within themselves. They are ready to reconcile old hurts and look at their parents compassionately. Making peace is crucial before they lose the people they've cared about most. What remains, then, is an age of grace, acceptance, and generosity.