NMH Magazine : Spring 2003

The 50's

A certain freedom comes with turning 50. The old concerns–surviving financially, establishing a career, reproducing, caring for children–are on the wane. Fiftysomethings have mastered their professions and are wisened by experience. In many ways, the world is their oyster. But–with freedom comes the time to reflect and ask questions. At this stage of life, the questions get bigger: What's the purpose of my existence from now on? How do I find spiritual comfort? Is it too late to change? What challenges are left? Answering these questions may bring major changes. This is a time of throwing out old stereotypes, letting go of outgrown expectations, and seeing clearly what's relevant in one's life for the future. Keeping up appearances may no longer seem important; being authentic is. Fiftysomethings want to find meaning in life. Spiritual hunger becomes more pronounced in this decade. We wonder where we fit in the larger picture: are we tiny and meaningless in a vast universe or an integral part of a divine pattern? Many feel a newfound reverence for nature, art, and even small, daily moments. Religious faith may be discovered or renewed. This is also a time of forgiveness. Sensing that time is growing short, we put away grievances toward our parents, reconnect with estranged siblings and friends, let go of old disappointments with our children. The inevitable losses sustained in 50-plus years often bring greater compassion and a desire to help others who've suffered similarly. Volunteering may become a consuming avocation. For 50somethings, creating community, mentoring the next generation, and taking responsibility for the planet can rise high on their agenda. Paradoxically, people in their 50s are often serene about their mortality. They've already dealt with a relative's sudden death, a friend's serious illness, a parent's drift into senility. They've confronted mortality, eyeball to eyeball, making it no longer a fear but a reality. Now the trick is to dodge it as long as possible, at the same time accepting that it's a fact of life.