NMH Magazine : Spring 2003

The 40's

The 40s mark a distinct turning point: Life begins to seem all-too short, and a sense of urgency sets in. Some people swear 40 doesn't feel any different–but chances are, they're not telling the truth. This is the time when mortality sets in and sayings like "Life is not a dress rehearsal" sink in. Making the passage into midlife can be rocky. Many people spend their early 40s spinning around in circles, looking backward, feeling confused and lost, and being utterly indecisive. At this age, we begin to realize we can't control life–so we can either accept its uncertainties or dig in our heels and fight against change. People who use their midlife passage as a springboard for growth are likely to flourish. For them, the 40s provide a release from confining roles and a gateway to new beginnings. The 40s are also about physical change. Fortysomethings can't help but notice their bodies changing. Cracks begin to show in the physical facade, whether in lost muscle tone or newly creaky knees or burgeoning weight. The print in the phone book suddenly looks tiny. People who face up to their age will accept these changes, knowing that the 40something body has to work harder just to maintain the status quo. For many in their 40s, their children are growing up and sailing off into their own young adulthood. Parents who've been caregivers are freed up in new ways; they have the chance to redirect their energies. For women in particular, this decade marks a time of reevaluation and renewed choices. They may learn new skills, return to school, start new careers, rediscover the adventurousness of their youth, and–finally–pay attention to their own needs. More than anything, our view of ourselves determines how full or meager these middle years will be. This is a time when people either think, "How terrible–life is running out!" or "How wonderful to have lived this long and, if luck permits, have more to go!" Without youth as a natural buoy, attitude becomes paramount.