NMH Magazine : Spring 2003

The 30's

Most people feel a restless energy welling up as their 30s begin. Choices made during the previous decade may no longer fit; what seemed new and exciting a few years before may suddenly seem dull and constricting. Typically this is a period of change, turmoil, and crisis. Thirtysomethings become acutely aware that accomplishments are expected of them by now. In transitioning to their 30s, many people tear up the life they spent most of their 20s assembling. For example, married couples may divorce or seriously overhaul their marriage; people who've been defiantly single may begin dreaming of marriage and children. Our inner voice becomes more insistent during this decade. We begin to deal with our past, including childhood, and to form a more coherent sense of self. We become more certain of ourselves and how we appear to others. This is a time of settling down; life becomes less provisional and more stable and orderly. We invest in homes, start families, and determinedly climb career ladders. As we take on the responsibilities of parenthood, we may struggle with gender expectations and careers put on hold. How to balance family, work, and self becomes a primary challenge. Thirtysomethings feel a shift in their sense of time. It's not exactly running out, but there's less of it than before. Impatient but not urgent, they still feel there's time to do it all. But around 35, twinges begin to set in as they realize they're nearly at the halfway point. An urgent truth begins to resonate deep down: time is running out. This is the root of the midlife crisis, which some begin to experience in their late 30s. Faced with the inevitability of aging and the limitations of time, late 30somethings begin the often painful search for meaning and authenticity.