Do You Know the Secrets to Making New Friends at a Boarding School?
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Carrie Healy Assistant Director of Admission
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As you think about the possibility of boarding school, questions are probably swirling through your mind. Perhaps some of your uncertainties center on making new friends. While the prospect of living and studying with your peers 24/7 is an exciting one, it also can be a little scary. You may be wondering: How can I possibly leave my current friends? What if everyone at boarding school is different from me? What if no one likes me? Will I find people who share my interests? Can I still be myself and be open to new experiences and points of view? Will I be able to keep in touch with friends from home? What if I do make new friends and then don’t fit in back home anymore? You can find answers to these important questions, and even begin developing new friendships, during the admission process. Here’s how:
Seek advice from student tour guides. Many schools will pair you up with current students during your visit. While these kids are great sources of information, they could also be your future friends. Ask them real questions, not just about facts and figures you can find on school websites. What do they like most—or least—about their lives at school? What are the highlights of living in dorms? Would they change anything about their schools? Ask about their experiences making new friends—the positive aspects as well as the challenges. After you get home, be sure to email or write your guides to thank them. Keep in touch, if possible.
- Attend optional class visit days and open houses. Not only is it useful to connect with faculty members and learn more about programs that interest you, it’s also valuable to talk with current students. Eat a meal in the dining hall. See how students interact and make sure you’re comfortable. Chat with a person in line or at your table to see if you get the same enthusiasm you experienced with your tour guide. While you’re on campus, take in a sporting event or a performance, if they’re open to the public. See people in action and in their element.
- Stay connected after you visit campus. Many schools provide opportunities for you to talk to students online, through chat rooms or Facebook groups, particularly after you have been admitted. Assuming your parents give you the okay, keep up the dialogue you started on campus. Ask the questions that come up after your visit. What is orientation like? Is it easy to join clubs and teams right away? What are the dorms like? Do kids leave their doors open? Do they hang out in common areas during their free time? You may also be able to chat online with other prospective students who are in the same boat as you.
Asking informed, well-thought-out questions is great, but remember: Don’t be afraid to be yourself. While you certainly want to make a good impression on any students you come across online or in person, your goal shouldn’t be to show off with lots of over-the-top questions. Having regular, everyday conversations about shared interests is a solid jumping-off point for making new friends. The bottom line is this: Put yourself out there early. You may have just met your future roommate!